“In 2016, I was responsible for the deaths of over 600 people. But they deserved to die. All of them. History will not grant the Islamic State a redemption arc. They were the bad guys, the evil of our time. I don’t lose sleep over what we did. However, I still struggle with how easy it was. I still relive the darkest moments of that year. Technology turned warfare into a game, and we treated it as such.”

Brennan Deveraux deployed to Iraq from January 2016 to August 2016, serving in the Strike Cell as the theater-level rocket artillery liaison for Operation Inherent Resolve, firing over 500 rockets and killing over 600 enemy fighters. His account relates a personal journey, addressing how US soldiers dealt with slaughtering a technologically inferior foe. This includes detailed and honest accounts of numerous artillery missions. He is open about having had a desire to rack up statistics and is candid about some choices he is not proud of. He shares the dark humor of war that he and his fellow soldiers sought refuge in when dealing with death, helping them escape their actions. Even so, at times they realized that they had lost their humanity, and the reality of warfare once again set in. When Brennan returned home, he was forced to face what he had done overseas in a life-changing moment with his family, experiencing an anxiety attack he could not explain.

Brennan’s story is important because it paints a very different picture of what it means to be a soldier in a 21st-century military, exposing the impact of “remote” warfare on service members. It is a reflection on war and a soldier’s role in it, emphasizing the importance of empathy—even for the bad guys—and an appreciation for the families impacted by the inherent violence.